Things are going fairly well in that I am leaving the house and got myself a part time job. My room is still a mess. I haven't actually done any school work and I berate myself for being such a lazy person.
Ah yes laziness.
If I weren't so lazy I would exercise.
I believe the biggest reason why I got depressed was because I stopped running in my last year of high school. Up until that point I was on the cross country and track and field team. Mind you I wasn't a very good runner, but I did it. I lacked the discipline to actually train. And now I am still lacking the discipline to run or do any sort of sport.
I make up excuses. Right now the excuse is "It's too cold outside." Fair enough, I could however go to a gym. Then the excuse is "I'm self-conscious and I have no idea how to weight lift."
I am not terribly self-conscious of my body. I've accepted it's simply the way I am. However I am terribly self-conscious of my legs. I find them disproportional to the rest of my body making me look chunkier than I am. And no matter how much I exercised, they never became any leaner. If I am not too careful, I'll fall into the trap of cankles.
I'm sick of the cold weather and wish for warmer weather. Warmer weather meaning dresses. Oh wait, no I don't like dresses because that means exposing my legs.
Right.
But this cold in mid March makes me eat so horribly. I have been living off of junk food and if I weren't so lazy I would actually go try to learn how to feed myself.
And if I weren't so lazy I would go learn how to do something.....like coding or whatnot. I'm falling into a pattern of going on tumblr and it's not giving me any joy actually. It's just something to do. Idling by.